Maybe we should try crowdsourcing to buy some protection for
Russell Wilson.
Russell Wilson is a fine young man, and one of the best
quarterbacks in the NFL. Last Sunday he
was sacked six times, flattened many times more – and was forced to run for his
life more often than I can count. The
problem is that most of the Seahawk offensive line appears to have
been acquired bargain-basement style, perhaps by drafting starters from the football team fielded by The
Little Sisters of the Poor. Whatever the
explanation, I could not bring myself to watch the last half of that game. I guess I’m just too squeamish for
professional football.
You might say that Wilson has brought it on himself, that
his exorbitant salary pushed the Seahawks up against the salary ceiling, leaving
nothing to buy really ugly/mean guards and tackles. You might be right, but that is beside the
point. Other teams have quarterbacks
with higher salaries, and better offensive lines. Wilson makes less than Andrew Luck, Drew
Breeze, Joe Flacco and Aaron Rogers, and none of those guys faces death nearly
so closely every game – they have better protection.
So how about we crowdsource about $13 million and buy Tyron
Smith from Dallas – or two or three less expensive offensive linemen? I like Tyron, personally – he weighs 320 lbs.
and can bench press 600 lbs. Put him in
front of Russell and dare the other team to blitz!