Sunday, April 22, 2018

A NOT ENTIRELY SERIOUS SUGGESTION


Not how it's done these days



Now even the NYTimes is stealing my ideas!  The article featured below describes “carbon-farming”, which is a new paradigm in agriculture aimed at combating global warming by farming in such a way as to store atmospheric carbon in the earth – while still managing to feed humanity.  A good idea, really.

But it all began with my idea, which I called “coalification”.

Trees, as you all know, grow by sucking carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere and building “complex carbohydrates” (sugars).  So while they are alive they are carbon sinks.  However, when they die they usually either rot, or burn, thus returning carbon to the air.  So, on balance, trees are a wash.

But sometimes they get turned into coal – a grand and efficient storage container for carbon.

Coal forms when vegetation dies but neither rots nor burns.  This usually happens in swamps or marshes – places where the dead stuff can waste away out of contact with the earth’s surface.  After thousands of years, pressure from the weight of overlying sediment, and maybe a little heating, the original organic material, cleansed of all extraneous admixtures, becomes COAL –  ready to heat our homes, generate our electricity, and do a nasty number on our environment.

So the antidote to global warming is obvious: grow trees, cut them down when they are mature – and bury them.  Make more coal, but never dig it up!

Of course, this might require producing the entire world’s food on a tiny scrap of land, and turning all the remaining farm land into forest.  Hello GMO and inorganic farming!  Better buy Monsanto.

I publicly elucidated this policy years ago.  Of course, it was over beer at the Chuckanut.  I never get no credit!


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